I returned to the States about a month ago and I am constantly thinking about what I witnessed while traveling. I am certainly not the same person in terms of outlook or perspective and I have even less patience for pettiness or cruelty. Watching humans scramble over one another in a quest for power or money or land or all of it is simply sickening. The world views the evil actions of a few, most likely suffering from mental illness as commonplace. We look the other way, accept the evil as part of living on the planet, shrug it off or ignore the actions because we feel defenseless. Mentally unstable, narcissistic politicians don’t just exist in the United States, they are scattered throughout the world and even though they are a tiny percentage, let's say 5% they impact 100% of the world. Their evil and greed are destroying the world and the beautifully peaceful, kind, compassionate 95% suffers from their destructive behaviors. No matter where you go in the world, this 5% stands out, creates the rules and policies and steals from hard working citizens. Whether it is lives, land, money or natural resources we allow them to take from us. Why?
Here is why I think we continue to look the other way as genocides, wars, and man-made disasters occur.
We believe there is nothing we can do.
We believe compassionate leadership does not exist.
We believe our voices don’t matter.
We believe experiencing discomfort is a negative.
We do not like talking about the impacts of trauma on human behavior.
Daily, we sit back and watch things happen that make us uncomfortable. Whether it is witnessing a coworker being wrongly fired, a hit and run accident, or an altercation between two people, we accept there is nothing we can do because we would prefer to live under the illusion that our lives are safe and comfortable rather than experience some discomfort to make things better. Everytime we choose to not do or say anything, forget compassion, think we don’t have the ability to be impactful and create change or think we are not capable of withstanding some discomfort we lose a piece of our humanity. We need discomfort in our lives. It is the fuel necessary to guide our learning and make things better.
I am an Armenian- American uncomfortably conflicted within my own identity. The American in me most days wishes to put her head down, raise her children, run her business and take her vacations fully aware she will be left alone if she doesn’t speak out or act out. The Armenian in me wishes to scream out about all the injustices in the world, not just the genocides (1915 and 2023) of her people, she wants to recreate the world order and give power to the 95%. She lives in discomfort, has felt hatred and love to their extremes and believes there are still “good fights” to be won. This is my reality and I finally confronted it this summer. As I stood at Armenia’s borders, stared at Azeri soldiers stationed meters away ready to fire on Armenian villages, hiked Armenia’s remote mountains, took in Armenia’s vast and incredible history, met open-hearted Armenians, and witnessed the amazing work of so many people driven by their hearts, I realized the conflict and discomfort within me is my strength.
I have made several promises to myself since returning from Armenia. I intend to keep them all, starting with my first one which is to fully embrace my power to create change. I am really good at talking about and teaching how to become a changemaker. It is time to fully live my words. I no longer want to sit back and watch the world. I no longer want to accept that corruption and greed are part of running a government or large corporation. I am not naive. I know there is much to change and there are systems and policies established to protect the way in which the 5% go about their business. I will help bring about change one vote, letter, post, phone call, meeting and blog at a time. Last time I checked 95 is a bigger number than 5, so if the 95% decide to start realizing they have the power, ability, voice and capacity for chaos and learning the 5% will be forced to stand down. Our world will start to reflect the kindness and compassion of the majority of its people.
As a human being with the capacity to feel discomfort, I am asking that you take a look at yourself and what you value and measure your true capacity for chaos. We all have resilience, creativity and strength within us that we have not tapped into. Even those of us who have been tested and faced the chaotic part of being human daily have more. There is always more, we just need to call on it. Determine what you want to change. Start small, it doesn’t need to be global, it can be within yourself or your family. Maybe finding a new job, starting a business, getting your family on a schedule, eating together as a family more often. Whatever is important, start to realize you have the capacity and strength to create change.
Here is the final lesson I have to offer. If we take 100% of the true potential of 95% of the 8 billion people currently living on the planet we get the true potential of 7.6 billion human beings focused on having a positive impact on the world versus 400 million human beings creating a negative impact. For those of you who love physics like my son, it is looking at entropy versus gravity. As a society we can choose to focus on measuring destruction or we can focus on calculating the beauty and potential within each of us. Focusing on the beauty as we move through the world, especially during times of discomfort and chaos will lead us to peace and lessen the impact of the 5%. This is how a behavioral scientist does math.
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